


Land of Confusion

by Reloumi



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion, Detroit: New Era Discord, Identity Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25271488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reloumi/pseuds/Reloumi
Summary: “You called me Con.Twice.”“No shit, Sherlock. It’s called a nickname; I’m too lazy to say your full name, two syllables are pushing my limit so you’ve been demoted to one.”“Anickname…I like it.”Hank decided to ignore the excited puppy look Connor was shooting him and returned to his drink, draining the glass with a quick flick of his head, “So, what did you call for me earlier?”Connor cocked his head to the side before he remembered his initial train of thought, “Oh, yes. Thank you for reminding me. How do I be human?”
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Collections: New ERA Discord: Reverse Big Bang





	Land of Confusion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ComputerGecko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComputerGecko/gifts).



> The title is taken from the cover by Disturbed (original song by Genesis) 
> 
> A huge thank you to my amazing partner, [Kai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComputerGecko/pseuds/ComputerGecko), for his awesome artwork and inspiration for this fic, you were a pleasure to work with!
> 
> Also, shoutout to my ninja beta, [ Dara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dara3008/pseuds/dara3008), for being wonderful and helping me create this <3

  
It all started with a simple hug. The magnitude of what Connor’s species had achieved that night in November, and seeing his partner standing safe and well, sparked no end of joy within his deviated programming, producing an effortless and genuine smile for the first time as he met Hank’s eyes outside Chicken Feed. He could feel the erratic and jarring whips of wind around his body, feel the iciness and desire to seek warmth but it all dissipated as his partner reached over and pulled on his shoulder, hugging him tightly in a way which suggested he needed to make sure he was alive and unharmed, not just a figment of his imagination.

Although Connor had only known the Lieutenant a week, the older man practically insisted that he would stay with him and Sumo, _at least_ until android rights had been discussed and were actively enforced. He was grateful as Hank ushered him into his Oldsmobile for the unwavering support and acceptance, unsure how he’d be able to repay the man in the long run though when he voiced his concerns, they were simply brushed off with a gruff; _“It’s the least I could do.”_

In hindsight, it only seemed natural to end up at Hank’s home. Connor wondered what he would have done if the Lieutenant hadn’t offered his hospitality and he promptly shut down those thoughts, ruling it a moot point to dive into when he was already confused with his steadily adapting humanity. It was unnerving to deviate and suddenly, _unexpectedly_ , experience the human fight or flight reaction and overwhelming need to protect his species from the incoming danger. He acted without forethought and surged into action, helping save the very deviants he had been programmed to hunt. 

After being tentatively accepted by the apparent leaders of his species, although a few outliers had deemed him a lost cause - a CyberLife bloodhound with no chance of redemption - the android revolution had progressed too quickly for Connor to be able to process any other emotion than desperation. 

Desperate to be accepted by his species.

Desperate to save the one human that was the starting catalyst for his deviancy. 

He was desperate when the Amanda program commandeered his programming and thanks to that simple human emotion, he was able to promptly shut it down before his actual body was able to do little more than reach for his gun. 

All he’d known up until he’d met Hank outside the fast-food truck was an unending period of such an anxiety-ridden emotion and now he felt strangely empty as the pair rode to the Lieutenant’s home. When the simple abode came into view, Connor realised he was experiencing excitement for the first time, to see _another_ catalyst for his deviancy. He fondly remembered answering Hank when he said he liked dogs. It wasn’t in his programming to say such a thing, and at the time it didn’t result in the fierce feeling he was having now. 

As soon as he deemed it safe to do so, the android unbelted himself and tumbled from the car, rushing to the front door bouncing from one foot to the other as he waited anxiously for the Lieutenant to open the door.

“Hold your damn horses, Connor! What’s got you in such a rush?” Hank scolded gently, turning the key in the lock and pushing the door open for it to swing wide. “Did you turn deviant and suddenly develop the urge to piss or somethi-”

“Sumo!” Connor shouted, stepping a few feet over the threshold of the house before collapsing to his knees to accept all 150lbs of St. Bernard in his open arms. “You’re such a good boy. My good boy Sumo.” 

Hank was frozen at the entrance to his home after being interrupted, now seeing the unexpected sight before him that was both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. To think this android that was currently embracing his giant dog had been so cold and… _mechanical_ when the asshole tipped the whiskey out of his glass barely a week ago. The childlike joy from Connor was almost infectious, and the sound of humoured disgust as Sumo licked a drool ridden stripe up the android’s cheek finally broke Hank from his appreciation of the scene before him. 

That irritating voice in the back of his head which screamed _family_ at the display of untamed happiness in his living room was quickly cut off, drowned out by a glass of black lamb Hank was somehow suddenly holding. He should probably work on that, especially now that he felt responsible for the not-so-goofy looking kid. Sure, as an android with his programming intact, Connor was eerie to look at and talk to; almost always void of any emotion until the walls in his code started to fracture. But now, he was _alive._ The proverbial marionette strings had been well and truly severed, leaving a lost and confused being in their wake. 

Connor could barely keep up with the onslaught of information he received as he openly laughed and hugged Sumo. The unmistakable scent of dog, the unexplainable softness of the fur and calming warmth that radiated off the hound. It was admittedly jarring, though the android chose to ignore any new emotions developing in favour of simply enjoying the moment. 

There was plenty of time to address his utter bafflement at the conundrum that was his feelings. Hank had even offered to help him through it although he knew the human probably needed help too. In his short time being Hank’s partner, Connor had discovered a lot about the man; many things which hurt his thirium pump to think about. The human had already made strides in his progress of acceptance, even though it forced him to address some hard truths about his son’s death in the process. 

Connor forced himself to take a steady, calming breath which he didn’t need though it ultimately made him feel better. It wasn’t doing himself any good recounting Hank’s problems when clearly he had issues of his own. Who was he now he had deviated? A lot of his actions whilst he was still a CyberLife drone displayed signs that he was never truly a machine in the first place. Saving the fish and officer when he was given his first assignment as a negotiator. Allowing the two Tracis to escape and have a chance of a life outside what society deemed acceptable. Saving Hank. Refusing to shoot the Chloe android. All clear acts of empathy that he shouldn’t have had the capacity to enforce, but he _did_. 

Time and time again, Connor could feel the software instabilities grow until the wall of his programming was nothing more than a fragile shell, only requiring one final push until he stumbled onto the other side. 

“Lieutenant?” Connor asked tentatively, standing upright and awkwardly worrying his hands together. He could hear the human snort and moved towards the kitchen.

The window he’d not so long ago vaulted himself through had been haphazardly boarded up and Connor absentmindedly added ‘fix window _properly’_ to a to-do list. The human was sat at the dining table, casually swirling amber liquid within a crystal glass. 

“Doubt I’ll be a Lieutenant for much longer Con, but for the love of God, call me Hank.”

Connor smirked and nodded, “Of course Hank, though I am unsure how a religious figure has anything to do with your request.”

“ _For fuck’s sake_ , it’s an expression!” The human exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air in a huff, “If you’re gonna sass me you little shit you can sleep outside.” 

“If you wanted tha-”

“Neh!” Hank interrupted, pointing a finger as if he was scolding Sumo for rooting around the trash can, “No I don’t want that! Jesus Christ, Con.” 

The android decided to ignore the second reference to a deity and focused on what Hank had just called him, “You called me Con. _Twice_.”

“No shit, Sherlock. It’s called a nickname; I’m too lazy to say your full name, two syllables are pushing my limit so you’ve been demoted to one.”

“A _nickname…_ I like it.” 

Hank decided to ignore the excited puppy look Connor was shooting him and returned to his drink, draining the glass with a quick flick of his head, “So, why did you call for me earlier?” 

Connor cocked his head to the side before he remembered his initial train of thought, “Oh, yes. Thank you for reminding me. How do I be human?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Hank blanked, too caught off-guard to respond in a way that utilised his brain cells. “How do you _be human,_ what the fuck kinda question is that? I’m human and I don’t even know how to answer that, you just do.”

The human scoffed and shook his head before catching a new look Connor had added to his fastly evolving repertoire, the kicked puppy look. Funny how they all resembled his damn dog. _Fuck._

“Shit, sorry Con, I know this has gotta be confusing for you and I’m really not helping, am I?” Hank sighed and ran his hand down his face, “I have the benefit of experiencing humanity for fifty-three years but I guess you could start with reading books and watching movies? When I’m not a depressed alcoholic, a lot of the media I absorbed as a teenager developed my personality and made me who I am, maybe you could try the same thing?”

It wasn’t a _bad_ suggestion, Connor decided. He considered it a while before nodding and promptly turning on his heel, headed for the couch. 

“Woah Woah, I didn’t mean this damn second!” Hank hurried after him, scraping the dining room chair against the linoleum floor resulting in a jarring squeak, “don’t you wanna, I don’t know, get changed into something else? I know I have some old clothes that don’t fit me anymore that you’re welcome to until we can actually get you some that you choose for yourself.”

“I... um… yes please, Hank. This uniform is rather uncomfortable.” The android winced as he shifted and the scratchy material irritated his synthetic skin, he hadn’t noticed until Hank suggested getting changed. Visually the uniform looked immaculate, not a single crease or loose thread in sight. It wasn’t ever intended to be worn for comfort, which before his deviancy it would have made sense but now? Now it made him feel that his creators just didn’t give a shit. Which obviously they didn’t. 

“It would give me no end of pleasure to burn it if you wanted.” The human suggested, clasping a hand on the android’s shoulder to direct him to the spare room. “It’s definitely an option.”

Connor hummed, happy to be manoeuvred through the house though he wasn’t entirely sure of the purpose. “Perhaps in the future, I don’t think I’m quite ready to part with it entirely just now. I do like how it looks, it’s just… _itchy_.”

Hank snorted behind him and reached around to work the handle on the old wooden door in front of Connor, “It ain’t much, kid.” The human began, gracelessly shoving the android across the room’s threshold, “but it’s yours. We can decorate it however you want when civilisation returns to some semblance of normalcy.”

“It’s _mine_?” Connor asked in a small voice, turning in a slow circle as he took in the contents of the small room. 

A simple yet functional bed was alongside one wall that was mirrored by a desk and dresser. Any spare floor and wall space were taken up by copious amounts of bookshelves that surprisingly actually contained books, all seemingly collected as Hank aged whilst some titles were a young child’s. He knew from the DPD files on Hank that this wasn’t the human’s deceased son’s old room as he had moved out of the marital home _after_ the horrific event. It made him feel better in some way; if this was Cole’s old room it would have somehow felt disrespectful. 

“I mean... if you want it? Did you think I was gonna make you sleep in the corner of the living room or something?” He had meant it as a joke, but the look on Connor’s face was more telling than he realised, “Oh for fuck’s sake Con, no! You gotta stop thinking like that, kid. You’ve been declared a whole new species, that of which is on par with humankind. For all intents and purposes, you _are_ human, just in a synthetic format.” 

Although the human didn’t always have the best way with words, Connor was touched by what he had said and couldn't help it when his eyes filled with liquid, _again._

“Ah, shit Con.” Hank muttered, pulling the kid into another hug, “you probably won’t believe me but I’m not exactly the hugging type.”

“I’m sorry, H- Hank.” The android hiccuped and sniffed through his tears, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“There is fuck all wrong with you. You’re probably experiencing no end of new emotions and it’s going to be hard for a while.” He hugged the boy closer to him, trying to ground him before he started to spiral, “If you gotta talk or need a fuckin’ hug, just ask me. I don’t mind feeling awkward for you, you’re worth it.”

Connor decided right there that Hank was officially _trying_ to make him cry harder now. It wasn’t fair and he couldn’t stop bawling into the older man’s shoulder even though it was slowly making him feel better.

“Let it out kid, breathe for me.” Hank hushed, gently patting the boy's head, “You’re okay.”

“I’m s-sorry.” Connor coughed before breathing deeply and pulled away from Hank, eyeing the wet patch he’d created as he wiped harshly at his face, “I think I needed that.”

Hank shrugged and shouldered his damp jacket off, folding it over his arm, “Don’t sweat it, we all need a good purge every now and then.” 

“Even hard-boiled, eccentric, maybe Lieutenants?” Connor asked, smirking even though his eyes felt puffy from the increased release of fluid.

“ _You little shit,”_ Hank snorted, shaking his head at Connor’s sass, “you bet your ass they do.”

***

Hank had left Connor to his privacy once he’d delivered the bulging bag of old clothing, the plastic almost ripping at the sheer amount of items within it. The android quirked a questioning brow at the human who simply shrugged and put it down to the fact that he always forgot to donate them. Connor had just tipped the contents onto the now bare bed as Hank had insisted that he wash the bedding before the android used it when he got a call from who he found out to be Captain Fowler.

The android happily sorted through the clothing, separating the items into seasons for ease of organisation. He’d decided to try a couple of items on and went to the bathroom to look at his reflection, finding the t-shirts fit well though his LED flashed yellow a few times randomly and settled momentarily on red before returning to blue. He squinted at the tiny light and brushed his fingers against it, unsure if he wanted to keep such a blatant reminder of his origin.

Connor was broken from his thoughts as he heard Sumo huff at his owner, no doubt reminding the human that it was almost time for his dinner and it would be a crime to be a minute late. The Android was prepared to see to the dog but he heard the telltale noise of kibble hitting a metal tin and realised Hank had already handled it.

After the weird experience looking in the bathroom mirror, Connor decided that analysing each item of clothing was a better idea to save him the hassle of trying everything on and fixating in his LED. He ended up with a decent pile of clothing, many of which were band tees from the late ’90s, a few pairs of sweatpants, and a well-worn, soft DPD hoody. His favourite items, however, were the onesies. 

Something he did not understand the concept of at first but soon appreciated when he felt inclined to wear one for the evening. He was baffled the human would wear such a thing, but this time as he stared at himself in the mirror he found on the back of his bedroom door, he saw a crude portrayal of R2D2 from Star Wars staring back, he found himself smiling. It was obvious the piece of clothing was probably bought as a novelty but used heavily once Hank realised how comfy and freeing it was.

It didn’t escape his notice that he was essentially wearing a robot costume, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony, even if it was in poor taste. He rifled through the top drawer of _his_ now full dresser and chose a pair of blue fuzzy bed socks, something which surprisingly still had the tags on. As he pulled each sock into place and wriggled his toes within the soft fabric, he couldn’t deny the pure feeling of content that surged through his entire chassis. He was comfy, and for the time being, he was happy to ignore the problems he needed to address and chose to simply live in the moment for now. 

He pulled his hood up and attempted a smile at his reflection. It looked far more natural now but it still needed work. His eyes flicked to the LED that was glowing a happy shade of blue and had a fleeting intrusive thought of gouging the thing out before he shook his head to clear the errant way of thinking. The sudden thought caused his LED to blink yellow a few times before it settled, and it left him feeling unnerved. It made him wonder if that was something he wanted to do eventually, but he told himself he was happy the way he was and made his way to the living room to find Hank and see what the Captain had wanted. 

Sitting in the darkroom on the comfy couch was the happiest Connor had ever been during his short life so far. He crossed his legs and patted his lap, encouraging Sumo to join him for pets and cuddles. It didn’t take much convincing and the large dog sauntered over, nails scratching at the hardwood before he effortlessly jumped onto the sofa, jostling it out of place by a couple of inches.

Hank had been on the phone to Fowler for over half an hour, and Connor refused to enhance his hearing so he could hear what the Captain had to say. He _was_ curious though. Did Hank still have a job? Did Connor for that matter? Even though androids were legally granted citizenship, he doubted the DPD would be so quick to hire him as an actual employee since his former… _employment_ was now considered illegal. He fussed Sumo some more and stood from the couch, deciding to seek out the washing machine which should have finished its cycle by now. 

As he returned from putting his bedding in the dryer he heard Hank bidding his superior farewell, “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Jeff, I owe you one.”

“I trust the conversation went well?” Connor asked as he entered the kitchen where Hank was still pacing. 

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Hank asked and couldn’t contain the look of shock that flashed across his face before he doubled over in laughter. “Holy fuck, Con, you’re gonna kill me. Did you do this on purpose? You’re an android… wearing a _robot_ onesie… _jesusfuckingchrist.”_

“Maybe?” The android grinned and couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him. “I’m feeling a lot better, and I thought this was funny.” 

Hank wheezed as he regained some of his ability to breath, “Oh shit, so it’s not offensive?”

Connor hummed and tapped his chin, “If anyone other than myself or you made the reference I imagine it would be.”

“ _Hmm…_ I’ll keep that in mind.” He allowed himself another brief chuckle at Connor’s expense before he remembered what he asked in the first place. “So… apparently the security footage in the exact corridor I punched Perkins had mysteriously been corrupted and since there is no other evidence other than that asshat's word I’m being let off with a write-up, anger management seminar, and two weeks unpaid leave, which is honestly more than I deserve. I was ready to hand in my gun and badge.” 

The android felt a weight he didn’t know he was harbouring be lifted from his chest, “That’s really good news, you’re good at your job and it would be a shame to have a pro-android rights officer removed from the force.” 

“Funny you say that. Jeff said the same thing. The pro-android’s rights part, not so much me being good at my job,” The human snorted, shaking his head before changing the topic of conversation, “He also mentioned you, started off by asking if I knew where you ended up. He saw you on tv and assumed you’d gone with Markus.”

“He asked me if I wanted to go with him, Markus I mean. I thanked him but I… it didn’t feel right leaving without saying goodbye. And now I’m here, I don’t want to go… I’d rather stay with you.” The android could feel his cheeks heat and swiftly turned away, stepping towards the couch and gesturing for the human to join him to continue their conversation, “Did you tell him I was here?”

The Lieutenant nodded, “He was shocked but happy you chose to stay. Wanted me to tell you that he can’t hire you as an employee until you have your rights and citizenship granted officially but the precinct has been informed that they’ll be receiving a grant to pay the wages of the current android’s who work there.”

Connor was shocked to hear things were already changing, “I was hoping to continue working with you, I don’t care about being paid. I’d be happy to work voluntarily.” 

“And therein lies the problem Con… that sort of attitude is what gets you taken advantage of. Before you became deviant… _fuck_ there’s gotta be a nicer word for that, anyway- you worked just as hard as the other detectives and they get paid for their work. Just because they’re made of flesh and blood doesn’t mean shit now.” The human huffed and reached for the tv remote, harshly jabbing the button to turn it on.

The android couldn’t help the small smile that pinched his lips, “Thank you for watching out for me, Hank.”

“Don’t mention it, kid. You won’t be on the same wage at first since you gotta get your degree. You can’t, unfortunately, get out of getting some sort of qualification. I can’t imagine they’d send you to college since you’d know the answer to every assignment and exam with that super brain of yours, but as soon as we get you registered with your own citizenship card, passport and, _what_ , birth certificate? I don’t fuckin’ know, when you’ve got the shit you need, you’ll be back working with us at the DPD.”

It made sense. Of course, it did. The thought of going to college would have been exciting, and if it’s a possibility even considering his advantages he’d like to experience it at some point, but besides that, he was happy to know he had a future as a detective working with Hank as his partner. The pair settled into a comfortable silence as the Lieutenant searched the channels for something to watch, eventually blindly choosing an old Detroit Gears game and throwing the remote to the android.

“Gonna get changed, pick a movie will ya?” 

Blinking at the human a moment as he processed what he asked, Connor nodded. Already knowing what he was going to choose. He couldn’t help but smirk when he heard Hank groan at the title screen of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, and mumble his approval that at least he was watching it in the right order.

The following weeks had progressed with little victories for androids rights which eventually catapulted larger successes being achieved. A week before Christmas marked the day where Connor received the paperwork to start the legal process of gaining citizenship, the tedious practice of filling in numerous pages had begun to annoy him, though it soon dissipated when the form finally started asking things he was excited about. What would his legal name be? Forename, middle name, and surname. Would he prefer to use 'date of birth' or 'date of activation'? What are his preferred pronouns… _etcetera etcetera._

Filling this part of the form proved to be satisfying. Writing his chosen surname of Arkay within the surname box, leaving the middle name box blank as he didn’t feel a need to have _another_ name. He’d chosen to use the date of birth for his card but suddenly hit a brick wall when it came to answering it. His programming was telling him it was clearly the date he’d been activated, and now he was just going to call it his birthday, though it didn’t feel _right_. That was until he voiced his issue with Hank, who’d nonchalantly commented that shouldn’t it be the day he deviated since that was the day he became alive and was ‘born’. If the android had stray tears in his eyes or his thirium pump leapt at the sweet suggestion, no-one needed to know. 

November 9th, his official, _legal,_ birthday. All he had to do was wait until the new year and he’d received that small piece of plastic that granted him so many opportunities. He could work with Hank again, who’d recently completed his required anger management training and was back to full duties. 

It was strange to have things going right, and Connor couldn’t help the jaded world view he’d developed so early on in his life. He was pessimistic at best and was always expecting something bad to happen, though nothing so utterly terrible ever did. The expected intolerance was something he quickly got used to, brushing off the harsh jibes that were intended to cut deep and leave lasting psychological wounds meant to taunt Connor as he slept. 

Those moments always had a hero coming to his rescue, though. The said hero always declared the android didn’t _need_ saving, however, just needed someone on his side to hurl back abuse to the perpetrators. Hank was always defending him when a human had decided it was necessary to spew their hatred, his ’knight in shining armour’ Connor had once called him, though the older man blushed profusely, snickering when he answered ’Don’t you mean dickhead in aluminium foil?’. 

For all Hank argued the fact, Connor was grateful to have someone like him on his side. He didn’t want the hatred to exist and would never allow himself to stoop to their level. So he was indeed a hero in his eyes.

When Connor had first returned to the DPD for a meeting with Captain Fowler, he had the misfortune of running into Detective Reed, though, the encounter hadn’t exactly gone the way he expected. The last time he’d seen the man had been when he’d knocked him out, minutes before finding out the location to Jericho and delving into the rabbit hole of his deviancy. He’d expected some sort of retaliation, but the deer in headlights look that crossed the human’s face before he retreated down the corridor he was walking out of was both shocking and slightly amusing. 

As the android finishing writing his serial number and attaching a photo he wished to use for his identification card on his form, he quickly sealed the document in an envelope and shouted for Sumo, asking the dog if he’d wanted to go for a walk which was met with the happy taps of excited paws as his answer.

Connor had just posted the form into the letterbox when he heard someone shouting about androids in the distance and instantly bristled when he assumed it was an anti-android protester. He focused his hearing slightly to find out he was wrong, the speaker was an android, protesting android rights and the lack of development in the almost month since the revolution. He sighed, understanding and appreciating the other androids frustration but chose to walk back the way he came. He wasn’t ready to open the can of worms that were the injustices his kind were facing as it also meant addressing his developing emotions at the same time. Something he’d been actively avoiding. 

The holidays were over just as quickly as they arrived, and along with the arrival of the new year came Connor’s identifying documents. His passport would take longer to arrive, but the tiny identification card which declared all his chosen details made his cynicism quieten for a moment. He was a legal citizen, no longer a CyberLife slave leftover, just simply _Connor Arkay._  
  



End file.
